I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
even my farts smell like vagina
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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