my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize