Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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