Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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