i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
