So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So vagazzling was a success
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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