Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
