He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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