put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I need a beard to bite.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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