i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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