I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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