You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So much rum. So many feels.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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