I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
