dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
