Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
