you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
