I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
