i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize