we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
