I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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