i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize