not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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