yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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