guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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