Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
