No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
