I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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