My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize