His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize