we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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