You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Damn victory sex feels great
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