Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
