Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
