the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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