Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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