Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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