yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
