Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
