We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
