WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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