Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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