Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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