Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize