so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
