My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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