When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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