I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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