marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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