Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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  (202): Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/hn4q
  Replies (4) Good night (3042) Bad night (511)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2754) Bad night (962)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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  (301): people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture. http://tfl.nu/g8h6
  Replies (30) Good night (5382) Bad night (1409)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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  (817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j
  Replies (82) Good night (7849) Bad night (854)
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  (716): View more from New York

  how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?

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  (716): how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page? http://tfl.nu/st43
  Replies (19) Good night (832) Bad night (6499)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.

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  (201): Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it. http://tfl.nu/rf1i
  Replies (4) Good night (2824) Bad night (1525)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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  (423): We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands. http://tfl.nu/9yq1
  Replies (7) Good night (3217) Bad night (810)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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  (412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k
  Replies (9) Good night (1867) Bad night (1051)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  (502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e
  Replies (25) Good night (1425) Bad night (2596)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

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  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5620) Bad night (787)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

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  (814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day." http://tfl.nu/1vs8
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (1557)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.

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  (506): Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres. http://tfl.nu/tq3r
  Replies (2) Good night (236) Bad night (535)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.

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  (701): Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead. http://tfl.nu/7ubq
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (178)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice

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  (440): its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice http://tfl.nu/6xmq
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (264)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.

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  (806): No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch. http://tfl.nu/nl2h
  Replies (4) Good night (310) Bad night (200)

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