I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.