my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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