used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.