Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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  (850): I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did. http://tfl.nu/zdnh
  Replies (9) Good night (3640) Bad night (541)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3326) Bad night (933)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

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  (703): there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40... http://tfl.nu/f1ts
  Replies (25) Good night (774) Bad night (5845)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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  (706): dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left. http://tfl.nu/hrhu
  Replies (36) Good night (1121) Bad night (7314)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.

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  (919): I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all. http://tfl.nu/fj96
  Replies (7) Good night (3161) Bad night (1032)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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  (412): I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up http://tfl.nu/fu0m
  Replies (22) Good night (5482) Bad night (2788)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night

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  (201): your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night http://tfl.nu/mrgx
  Replies (18) Good night (1161) Bad night (4620)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.

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  (314): don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again. http://tfl.nu/ygo4
  Replies (19) Good night (955) Bad night (4491)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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  (678): I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer http://tfl.nu/ffy6
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (1128)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat

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  (615): We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat http://tfl.nu/d487
  Replies (11) Good night (862) Bad night (2042)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?

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  (514): Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final? http://tfl.nu/e8i7
  Replies (28) Good night (2576) Bad night (750)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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  (234): For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well. http://tfl.nu/1g4h
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (900)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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  (819): I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex. http://tfl.nu/mg33
  Replies (8) Good night (2579) Bad night (452)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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  (931): You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet http://tfl.nu/z0gl
  Replies (0) Good night (756) Bad night (320)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?

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  (563): Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex? http://tfl.nu/yp18
  Replies (5) Good night (600) Bad night (230)

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