Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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I am one with the molecules
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges