I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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