so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.