Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.

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  (630): I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me. http://tfl.nu/s161
  Replies (71) Good night (4316) Bad night (1919)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready

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  (614): how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready http://tfl.nu/g5tv
  Replies (17) Good night (10293) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What'd you guys eat?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Literally everything that was frozen.

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  (918): What'd you guys eat? (1-918): Literally everything that was frozen. http://tfl.nu/igjp
  Replies (8) Good night (4244) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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  (480): She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day http://tfl.nu/vsgx
  Replies (4) Good night (3664) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!

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  (440): We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis! http://tfl.nu/tuy6
  Replies (119) Good night (1903) Bad night (9929)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"

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  (512): he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls" http://tfl.nu/sggu
  Replies (6) Good night (1330) Bad night (3948)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.

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  (940): I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again. http://tfl.nu/j6me
  Replies (7) Good night (930) Bad night (2330)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT

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  (703): THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT http://tfl.nu/gmdd
  Replies (6) Good night (2910) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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  (352): he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled http://tfl.nu/6wmo
  Replies (2) Good night (1878) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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  (505): see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/be9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1885) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.

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  (517): She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free. http://tfl.nu/s0d6
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.

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  (306): I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it. http://tfl.nu/pxhw
  Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options

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  (859): I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options http://tfl.nu/2zyd
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through

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  (773): The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through http://tfl.nu/5p20
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.

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  (402): but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets. http://tfl.nu/tdd4
  Replies (0) Good night (741) Bad night (219)

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