i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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