Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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