your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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