i think i have herpe
just one?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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