Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
