she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
