I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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