I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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